Phone Safety and your Kids: A How-To Guide

Let’s tackle the subject of phones!

We put off our kids having phones for as long as possible. My oldest two are at the ages/circumstances now where one is starting to drive, they are often gone at friends’ houses on the weekends, and they are spending more time independently. We felt that it was the right time to take that step, but naturally we proceeded with caution. My husband and I spent a significant amount of time researching safety, privacy, and parent-control features in order to provide the safest possible experience for our boys.

Our top priority was putting parental controls in place on their devices. These are a couple of great videos that show you how to activate and manage these safety controls on both Samsung and Apple phones. These have been such valuable resources as we’ve navigated this new experience.

Parental Controls for Samsung Phones

Parental Controls for IPhones

Something else that was a priority for us was developing a set of rules to fit the needs of our family. And while every household’s rules will look different, I think it’s important to establish them early and revisit them often to evaluate their effectiveness. There is a great benefit in having a consistent, open-dialogue between parents and their children, so a list of rules should not replace those conversations.

Here are the ten guidelines we have set for our family. They are just a few examples of boundaries you can put into place to better ensure a positive relationship with technology, but as always, do what is best for YOUR family!
1. The phone is a privilege I can earn when I use it responsibly. I lose it if I act irresponsibly.
2. I will use my phone as a tool for fun and connection. I will not engage in conflict or negativity.
3. I will use group chats as a way to socialize with friends. It’s not the place to bring up disagreements and I won’t kick people out of a group chat even as a joke.
4. If there is a problem to solve with someone, I will talk to them in person or on a phone call only. I won’t try to solve disagreements via text.
5. I will think before I text. I understand texting is 80% misunderstood and is the most ineffective way of communicating. You can’t take back things you’ve texted, they are permanent.
6. Phones are a tool for good when used for good.The rules we have for phone use keep me healthy and safe.
7. If I wouldn’t want my mom and all of my friends’ moms to read it, I won’t say it. I understand I can NEVER permanently delete what I send, search, and say. All parents will likely see what is said and screenshot it.
8. I will stay present with people I’m in person with. Phones are a way to connect with people when I have available time, they are not to be used when I’m bored or with family and friends in person. I don’t use my phone to ignore and disconnect from people I’m in person with.
9. I only take photos of people who have agreed to be in a photo.
10. I will text dad “311” at 3:11 everyday. (this one is obviously there as an inside joke, but kind of a fun idea to have something like this on there!)
**If I violate these rules, I understand I lose my privilege to use a phone for 48 hours and will have to earn it back.

Technology is commonly viewed as a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be. Caution should always be taken, but there are a lot of pros to increasing access to phones as our kids get older and prepare for adulthood. Let’s strive to eliminate that fear by creating guarded, successful technology use with our children.

xo Ashley

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