The science is increasingly clear: weight gain is a medical issue, not a moral one. And I want to talk about it.
One of the weirder things about sharing so much of my life online for almost 17 years is this tension I live in. On one hand, I don’t feel like I owe anyone all my personal information. On the other hand, I understand the complexity of the content I’ve shared over the years.
When I decided to share that I was taking a GLP-1 medication, the number one criticism I received was that I must have hated my body all along.
“Was everything you shared about being body positive a lie?”
Of course not.
I’ve always said body positivity is about loving your body in all stages — not hiding behind the idea that you need to be a certain size to be worthy. I’ve shown up online at my largest and my smallest.
If you love your body, you can make changes with that love in mind. We can be honest and give ourselves grace in how we care for our bodies.
For me, body positivity isn’t about ignoring health. It’s about removing shame from how we care for ourselves.
Using medical tools doesn’t mean abandoning self-love. It’s an extension of it.
I can hold both truths at once: deep gratitude for my body exactly as it is, and commitment to helping it function at its best.
Once I understood that my weight struggle was a medical issue, not a moral one, I could finally make decisions from a place of compassion instead of shame.
The First Time I Remember Something Was “Wrong”
I was eight years old when my second-grade teacher announced an “interactive” math activity about graphing. Each student would step on a scale in front of the class, then place their name on a large chart on the chalkboard.
I didn’t think much of it — until the chart filled up.
All the girls’ names clustered in one area, and mine floated high and far off to the side, closer to the boys. That was the first time I remember asking myself, What’s wrong with me?
For the next twenty years, I collected hundreds of moments like that one — trying to “fix” what I thought was broken. I tried everything: Atkins at age ten, South Beach as a teen, Weight Watchers in college, Whole30 as a new mom. I counted, tracked, restricted, and punished.
No matter what I did, my body didn’t respond like others’. I watched friends eat more freely, move less, and still exist in smaller bodies. The only conclusion I could make was that it had to be my fault.
Lazy. Undisciplined. Weak.
Those words became my inner voice.
But here’s the truth I couldn’t see yet: my weight wasn’t a moral issue. It was a medical one.
Genetics, Family History, and Exhaustion
My dad — who struggled with his weight his entire life — cut up fruit for us after school and took us running at the high school track. Conversations about “different genetics” were common in our home. Diabetes ran deep on both sides of my family.
Out of seven siblings, every one of us was overweight by our teens. Three eventually needed gastric bypass surgery, with mixed outcomes.
At some point, I just got tired. Not of myself — of fighting against my body.
Motherhood, chronic health challenges, and life itself taught me that peace mattered more than punishment. I leaned into body positivity: loving my body, showing up as I was, and being grateful for what it could do.
That shift from shame to gratitude changed my life. Loving my body also meant wanting it to feel well and function as best as possible for as long as possible. A long healthy life with people I love? That vision became incredibly motivating.
When My Goals Changed
When I turned 40, I hit a pivotal point. For the first time, I felt free from shame-induced, appearance-driven goals. Being “hot” wasn’t even on my radar. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted strength, independence, and longevity. I wanted the second half of my life to be better than the first.
I had lost weight the “right way” before — through restriction and over-exercise — but it never brought peace. I knew skinny didn’t mean happy and skinny didn’t mean healthy. And the obsession never went away. The exactness required to maintain that weight took away from my quality of life with the people I love.
For the first time, I started looking at my health as a medical issue.
Seeking Medical Help
With my doctor’s help, I discovered I was pre-diabetic. My body wasn’t regulating blood sugar properly. Even wearing a continuous glucose monitor and carefully controlling my diet didn’t stabilize my levels.
That’s when my doctor and I began discussing GLP-1 medications.
I had heard about them, but I was skeptical and honestly pretty critical at first. I also have health anxiety, and the risks scared me.
But eventually, staying on the path I was on felt even scarier than trying something new.
What GLP-1 Has Actually Done for Me
Using a GLP-1 medication has been transformative.
For the first time in my life, I’ve experienced relief from the constant mental noise around food — the hyper-fixation, the obsession, the shame. It feels like I have a new brain. That mental load lifting has allowed me to make lifestyle changes I always dreamed of but couldn’t sustain before.
My progress has been slow and steady. I’ve lost weight while maintaining — even increasing — muscle mass. My blood sugar is stable. My blood pressure is down. My labs show reduced inflammation and overall improved health.
But the biggest changes aren’t on paper.
I can exercise without feeling defeated. My body craves water and nutrient-dense foods. I have energy I didn’t think was possible. I feel present with my family. Flexible in life. Free from the constant internal battle.
This shot isn’t magic. It’s a tool — one that works best with medical guidance and major lifestyle changes.
I started over 2 years ago on a very low dose, I didn’t even lose weight the first 6 months, but I immediately felt the food noise muted and for the first time in my life I realized “Is this what everyone else feels like?” I just never was thinking of food!
It became healing for me to focus on eating ENOUGH food (mostly protein and nutrient dense food) over restricting. I never felt like I was suffering, I was finally able to focus on every other detail of my life instead of obsessing over food.
Why I’m Sharing This
Health decisions are deeply personal and should never be made because someone on the internet tells you to. But honesty and transparency matter to me.
After 17 years of sharing my life online — my biggest seasons, my smallest seasons, my healthiest and my hardest — this chapter deserves the same openness.
If you’re reading this and wrestling with your own body story, please know:
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
Loving your body means giving it what it needs — with compassion, not criticism.
For me, this tool has felt like a miracle. Not because it made me smaller, but because it gave me something I never thought was possible:
Peace around food.
Peace in my body.
Peace in my life.
If you are interested in starting a GLP1 journey, you can talk to your doctor or if you are hoping to go through the process online – I switched to EllieMD last year because I love that I could do all my appointments from home, and the medication ships right to your door.
I order the GLP-1/GIP Injections (Tirzepatide) I have never felt sick, because I started at a low dose and gradually moved up.
You can order where I get mine from HERE and if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!
xo Ashley
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